Mindfulness

Am I mindful or is my mind full?

“The question is not “why” but “WHAT.”

Tasha Eurich

Tasha Eurich begins her Ted talk visualizing what we have all done in instances where we were faced with a mirror’s image of what we are: acceptance, rejection, or apathy. I begin to recognize the same feelings in my measly attempts to introspect and reflect on myself. She then goes by saying what resonates to me as a solution, “if we spend too much time scrutinizing what’s in our rearview mirror, we’re certain to crash into a light post.” It dawned on me that this line is very much true, yet I still wonder how can something so true be so difficult? Proceeding to complete the 17-minute video, I have found many realizations that I haven’t considered with regards to being mindful – the essence of self-awareness as what Tasha advocates.

It was also mentioned that there were two kinds of people in this world, those who think they are self- aware and those who actually are. And out of nowhere I found myself looking back to instances when I did try to reflect on who I am, how I fit into the world, and how I am towards other people – a reflection of reflecting, as Tasha said. How many times have I sat still, stared into nothingness, and just wondered what went wrong, why it went wrong, and why I am the way I am, yet still find myself in situations that end up with me feeling bad for something that went wrong, or unsatisfied with myself. Which was probably why the first two sentences into her talk has irked me in ways I didn’t expect to be irked.

I now feel like I have just unknowingly lied to myself about how much I know myself. I started to go back, doubt myself, and say, ”Ah, maybe I wasn’t so introspective, after all.” I started to wonder if I could have avoided that friend who felt bad because of what I did or said, or if I could have avoided making my brother mad at me for a bad joke. But as Tasha said, being fixated on the past might not be so good for looking at the present, to improve my future self. And that maybe I was looking at it the wrong way – from the rearview mirror. Maybe it would be more beneficial to start asking what instead of why? Maybe then, I could start becoming part of those who were self-aware.

As I sat to watch the video, I thought that what I knew about self-awareness, mindfulness, and introspection would only be reinforced. Yet not only did I find myself re-evaluating my values, but my practices as well on how to approach situations and what I can take away from them. It did in fact help knowing that I couldn’t just know my subconscious feelings, thoughts, and motives. I had to come to terms with the fact that these were beyond my understanding. And so, it would help if I approached reflection from a concrete perspective – what could be done.

Here is where compromise and learning come in. I now know that just because I think of myself, doesn’t mean I know myself. And that there are more ways to approach a situation just as I evaluate my actions and the effect I have on others. In compromise, I would endure the changes pertaining to the people and environment around me, as well as the changes I go through with time and experiences. As I learn, I have more to build upon as an individual.

I then would need constant reflection and introspection, to build upon self-awareness as a strong foundation to become a better professional. In this field, as occupational therapists, we have so much impact on others – our lives are dedicated to make others’ lives better.

So, not only must I take the learnings from this 17-minute video as vital in my growth as an aspiring occupational therapist. Self-awareness, something that I may even take for granted at times, is an aspect of that growth that I musn’t forget to apply as I only strive to be the best version of me – to improve my relationships with my colleagues and clients, to come to terms with what I am as an individual, and to rise up to the challenge of my weaknesses. Only by humbling myself and opening myself for improvements will I be able to embrace mindfulness and growth.

And finally as an OT student, I find that this is a moment of realization to approach self-awareness and minduflness in a better or proper way, so I can practice this in my personal and professional life. To continue to seek growth and improvement so I can be a competent healthcare provider to my future clients, one day I get to deserve an OTRP beside my name.